Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
