non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
