It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
