Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
