their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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