The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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