What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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