You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
