That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My ass is underappreciated
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize