dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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