I got chris browned last night
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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