I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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