My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
