This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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