dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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