I cockslap morals
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
