letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize