But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
