I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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