You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
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recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
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Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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