I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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