Michael Bay diarrhea
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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