Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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