woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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