I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
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quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
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Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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