Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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