So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
