I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can't turn off my feet"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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