What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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