I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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