She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
