im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
