Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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