I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm really into asian looking animals
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
