Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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