Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
