I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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