What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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