How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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