watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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