She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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