it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
