Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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