Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you still have your period?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
