the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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