Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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