She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
