Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We named our party play list daddy issues
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
