I showed him my bush... on skype.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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