Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
