All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
