I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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