Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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