who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
