Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize