Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
